so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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