Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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