I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
