My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
