is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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