You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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