lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
