So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
