so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
