Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
