I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
