i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
