I murdered the dance floor call the cops
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You ruined the universe
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
