Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
