Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
