My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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