...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
