I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
