you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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