Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
