Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
