Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
