Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
