guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
