You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
