I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
