I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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