new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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