Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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