that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We left the knife in your bed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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