Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
