another moral hangover. fuck.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
