fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
