I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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