i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
