Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
