I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
