k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
