oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
