Is it because I queefed?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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