A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
