Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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