I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
