Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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