It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
