The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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