is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
dude. I can hear the air.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
