I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
