Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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