oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
