I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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