How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
