why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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