What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
