his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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