I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
