it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
