why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
