I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
